101 Ways To Look Like an Ass

Regardless of how excited you are to see the UPS man, because he just might have that thing you ordered last week, it's probably in everyone's best interest for you to not ask the UPS man if he has a large package.

Funded by The US Government

Funded by The US Government
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Lookit my shiny new tax return!

Sixteen Candles

In honor of Sean's birthday, I give you a little ditty from The Beatles:

You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too--yeah (but not really!)
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party.

I would like you to dance--Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance--Birthday
Dance

I would like you to dance--Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance--Birthday
Dance

You say it's your birthday
Well it's my birthday too--yeah (but not really)
You say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Pie!

Who among you has made a cherry pie? Did you use canned filling, or did you pit the cherries and make it from scratch? Frozen cherries? I'm looking for preferences here....

Yesterday

Ever have one of those days where you don't realize until noon that your underwear is on inside out?

Kids These Days

This is the stupidest shit I've ever seen. I mean, seriously, balls for your truck???

The weather is lame, but it's the PEOPLE who are frightful

If any of you who don't live in Seattle are following our weather, you know it's been a bit crazy for us this winter. We've had so much more snow than normal, that I suspect we're getting used to it. People are actually starting to drive intelligently in spite of the snow! I've only fallen on my ass in the middle of the street once this winter!

I'm learning one of the benefits of my new job - My boss actually cares about the safety of her employees! Thus, snow days all around! This is extremely appreciated, since I live at the highest point in Seattle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_Point%2C_Seattle%2C_Washington). The buses are stuck at the bottom of the hill (even with chains), cab service is booked through the afternoon, and I don't have a sled.

The weather forecast originally stated that we would have snow until about 7am, which would then turn to rain. The snow finally stopped dumping around 9am, and there hasn't been a drop of rain. "Not to worry", says the lady on the television. "The rain will start at any time." Still no rain at 1130am. I've since gone to weather.com, and found that the forecast has changed from rain to "wintery mix". Bartender, serve me up a vodka with a splash of wintery mix, on the rocks.

Can you repeat the question?

HTTP Status 503 - This application is not currently available

type: Status report
message: This application is not currently available
description: The requested service (This application is not currently available) is not currently available.

The More You Know...

Have you ever forgotten to remove a tag on a new clothing item? If you're like me, you've at least forgotten about that sticker on your jeans; The long one with the size printed out.

Today I saw a woman at the bus stop with a santa hat on, with the tag still attached. Being the good person that I am, I asked if she realized this was the case. She informed me that she was aware. In fact, apparently this is some sort of new fashion statement. She said she felt that wearing baggy pants was disrespectful to others, so she had opted to go for the tag trend.

So, I'm to understand that the new fad is to advertise the price of your bling, even if said bling consists of nothing more than a furry santa hat???

My first thought was, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Then I thought "Not only am I confused by a fashion statement, but I have to be informed of it by someone who's older than I." Ouch.

Luckily, it turns out that I should have stuck with the first thought, and ignored the second one. This woman's next statement was, "I'm surprised you even saw the tag; I've been trying to hide it."

Hide it??? So, the goal of this fashion trend is for people to not know you're participating. Huh.

Changes For The Better

New Year's Resolutions:

1. Floss!!!!
2. Clean my disaster of an apartment.
3. Keep it that way.
4. Less alcohol = Fewer hangovers
5. Exercise.
6. Beauty treatment schedule.
7. Return phone calls.

Running on Empty

So, Sean has posted my url on his website! Fantastic...but this poses a bit of a problem. I feel compelled to write new things on my site! (Maybe that was his plan all along...). Well, I can't think of a single thing to write about, which is crazy, because there are always things to write about, right??

If you have any good ideas, please feel free to leave a comment. Otherwise, someone buy me this book!

Overheard

"I don't understand why my sister insists on making anything from scratch for Thanksgiving. It doesn't make that much of a difference in how things taste."

Shoot me in the face right now. Do it.

Questionable Past

The other night Nick was telling me about how easy it is to find someone's email address by simply putting their name into a Google search. Basically, as long as your name and email address are on a website somewhere, it will show up in the search results. To illustrate, he did a Google search for "kim mangan" (with quotes).

At the time, I was in the kitchen making dinner, so I asked him to read off some of the results that might pertain to me. Apparently, rather than dinner, I should have been making a drink.

"There's some stuff about a girl with your name who plays on a softball team in Ohio."
"Here's a link for your Amazon.com wishlist."
"Your Flickr page."
"A link for some chick who works for Anheuser Busch."
"A website for the Thespian troupe you were a part of in school."
"Free Asian Sex Gallery."
"Seriously. It says "kim mangan kent wa" under the website."

Apparently my name and the name of the town where I went to school are now included in spam headers! Have you ever gotten a bit of spam in your inbox which includes a bunch of random phrases? Take the next example, also listed in the Google search:

free diving equipment ... contest cheat. hovertechnics hovercrafts for sale. cancer in bowels. kim mangan kent wa. jefferson county west virginia tax assessor. 1985 Suzuki SP600

Back on Track

A lot has happened since my last post.

I quit my job.

I acquired a learners permit, so that I could help drive on a long road trip.

I took a road trip with Nick to see my Mother, Stepfather, little brother and sister, 1 set of grandparents, and Nick's sister. We also saw the Redwood forest, Crater Lake, and Dave Matthews.

I got a new job.

While You Were Sleeping

This morning I pulled up the NY Times website, and read two front-page articles:

The Food and Drug Administration today approved over-the-counter sales of the “morning-after” contraceptive pill to women 18 and older.

The International Astronomical Union set new guidelines that downsized the solar system from nine planets to eight.

How long have I been in bed?????

Movin' On

Final Draft:

To Whom It May Concern:

Effective immediately, I am resigning my employment at ***** ***** Company.

In recent months I have realized that my immediate work environment does not reflect the respect and dignity that I always hear so much about; Respect and dignity that I feel I deserve.

I have never felt so disrespected in a work environment, much less by a supervisor. To be given the impression that her superiors are in support of such unprofessional behavior is an extreme disappointment.

After four years, this is not an easy step to take, but I feel that it is time to move on.

First Draft:

EFFFFF YOOOOO.

Geekin' Out

Christina Aguilera's new album comes out today! Gah!!!!

Baybee!

Baybee!
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

I'd say that went well.

Go Way. Sleeping.
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Email from my Mother:

*sigh*

*Heavy sigh*

I shoulda known.

*sigh*

Daniel says he isn't surprised.

*sigh*

Does your hair grow fast?

Now how you gonna color it?

Markers?

Paint?

Body Paint???

*sigh*

Open Forum

Girls with buzz cuts.

Discuss.