You think I'm kidding.
I woke up at 11:30 last night with a spider crawling on my arm. I must have been really sleepy, because I didn't immediately fly out of bed. In fact, I sat up and actually contemplated going back to sleep without investigating. "There was a spider crawling on your arm, you (expletive) twit! Turn the light on and do something about it!" It was a very "Get up, Trinity. Get UP!" moment. I turned on the light and found a small, but fat, black spider hanging out by my pillow. Caught him. Flushed him down the toilet. Somehow managed to fall back asleep.
This morning as I was contemplating how I could possibly go to work without having to get out of bed, I noticed another spider on the ceiling. This one was brown and skinny. Skinny, yes, but not any less freakish than the fat black one. I looked at this spider on the ceiling, and thought, "Hmm. I'm not tall enough to reach it. Maybe it will go over to the wall so I can catch it." As the spider started crawling across the ceiling, above my bed, I thought, "What if it dropped? What if it dropped right now?? No, wait. What if it dropped right as it reached the space above my head???" I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when it reached the space above my head, and actually dropped. Shrieking and throwing of blankets ensued.
A Failure To Communicate, Vol 67. - I think this is what our grandparents call "a senior moment." The best part? THEY WROTE IT IN ALL CAPS. [sad face here] "Sprinkles All Over Momthe...