Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Email of the day!

In today's mail bag, we have a message from Mom. Let's see what she has to say:

Sunday the kids were playing out in the woods when Nathan came in and said, "Daddy, Lindsay has a major problem!" Of course we asked what the problem was. As Lindsay came in behind, looking like she wasn't sure what to think but it probably wasn't good, he said, "A slug crawled into her shoe and is taking a nap!" What??? She came limping in and said it was "Squishy". Ugh! I had her sit down and removed her boot. Sure enough, there was a slug in the bottom of her boot! It's nap looked to have turned into a very long sleep though.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Why don't we start by you telling me what you want me to say

I've decided that I'm tired of defending the logistics of my relationship to people who 1. Don't know me very well, or 2. Don't spend any time with Matt and I as a couple.

I've been having a lot of relationship conversations with people lately, which tend to stem from me bringing up our vacation plans for next month. Let's pretend I'm having a conversation with "Joe". This is generally what happens:

J: Hey Kim, how've you been doing?
M: Oh, good - Anxious for next month's vacation!
J: Oh yeah? What's the plan?
M: Matt and I are going up to Vancouver for a week!
J: That's sweet. How long have you two been together? It's been awhile, hasn't it?
M: 2 years next month.
J: Wow, has it been that long?
M: Mmm.
J: So, any talk of a ring?(or "any thoughts of marriage?"...Etc; You get the idea)
M: No, not really (Casually)
J: Hmm. Really? (Shocked expression ensues)

Now, this is where things get tricky. I've tried all sorts of responses in attempt to close the conversation while reassuring Joe that things are just fine, but nothing seems to be working so far. I've tried explaining that Matt and I are really laid back about our relationship and we're in no rush. I've even tried making conversation light; saying something to the effect of "We're too busy having fun right now to think about getting married." If I try this method with Joe, he then accuses me of thinking that the fun ends with marriage, which usually results in Joe giving a lecture, in an effort to rewire my brain to think differently.

I've thought about letting Joe end the conversation with the look of shock so that I can just walk away, but I'm fairly certain that such an action would just reinforce Joe's impression that I'm not content with my situation, and that behind closed doors Matt and I chase each other around the house with frying pans and butter knives.

I actually started to think there was something wrong with me for not trying to coax Matt into marriage or not window shopping for fluffy white dresses. Then I realized that none of these people spend time with Matt and I together. If they had, they would realize that we have a very wonderful and rare relationship which is incredibly solid.

Sure we have tense moments; I insist on living out of a laundry basket rather than just putting my clothes away, and Matt doesn't unball his socks when he takes them off. I don't always floss my teeth, and Matt doesn't refill the soap dispenser at the bathroom sink. Yes, these things do drive us crazy sometimes, but we have enough love and good times to more than balance things out, and I'm sure our relationship will continue to be fantastic whether I have a monopolized piece of glass on my hand or not.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Personal bubble

Yesterday evening when I boarded the bus I noticed that there was a woman occupying two of the front seats; She had put her bag on one seat, and had her legs propped up in such a way as to block anyone from sitting next to her. There were plenty of other empty seats on the bus, but I really felt like being a pain in the ass, so I stood next to her and made her move her stuff so I could sit down. Of course, it wasn't easy for her to move her bag - she had to fumble a lot in order to make me aware of just how difficult I was making her life, as well as the 4 people who were standing behind me, waiting for an opportunity to pass. As I sat down I thought, "Welcome to rush hour, Honey."

My poor attitude is precisely the reason I should never drive a car.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Have we met? You smell so familiar...

The guy sitting next to me on the bus this morning smelled like ground beef.

I'm not kidding.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Merry Christmas, UPS!

I know I haven't posted in quite some time. It's the holidays. I make good pie. Everyone suddenly remembered that I make good pie about a week before Christmas. Yeah. I've been busy.

Christmas eve morning I was sitting on my bed after taking a very relaxing shower, painting my toenails. I heard the screech of large tires, and looked up to see one UPS guy standing outside of the truck, looking at the house, and another UPS guy in the back of the truck finding my package. It was right about then that I realized the reason I could see the UPS guy was that my blinds were open. It was right about THEN that I realized I was topless.

Jump off the bed, run out to the front room and hide behind the front door. Muster up a little courage and look out the peep hole to watch for the truck to drive away. Observe UPS guy #1 smiling. Pray that UPS guy #2 told a really good joke.