So, I know it's been awhile...

I realized today, as I was posting yet another photo on my blog, that this has become a bit of a photo blog. Not intentional, I just haven't had much to say lately. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just means that my life hasn't been very interesting lately. Oh, I've been entertaining, yes...I've even resorted to sticking my tongue out in my sleep, and last night I made myself a little bit ill with Oreo cookies, but that's about as exciting as it gets for me these days.

I haven't had any complaints sofar, so I assume that everyone enjoys the photos...feel free to let me know if you miss the text. I may or may not pay attention.

Circus From Hell
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Corporate Pizza

Corporate Pizza
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Putting cheese pizza under a stack of 12 other pizzas isn't a great idea.

Dream Big!

Saturday night I dreamt about showing someone how far I could stick my tongue out. I woke up licking my chin. So glad no one saw that.

Play Time
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Mysterious Trees
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

The Morning After
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Digital camera? Check. Crazy party? Check. Mirror first thing the next morning? Check.

HA!!!
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Well, there was a band, and beer...and by the time I took this picture, it was dark outside. What can I say?

Birthday Class
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Here's a picture of Jenny. There's no denying this girl knows how to party in style.

Would ya cut the cake already???

I went to Portland last weekend for two of my sisters' birthday. One turned 29, the other 30. When all was said and done, everyone had a fabulous time. There was a band and beer. Lots of beer. Really, there wasn't an excuse to be found for not having fun. Among the highlights of the evening:

1. Overhearing one of my sisters, "When he drinks, he gets aggressive...sexually."
2. Dad telling everyone that I have a foot fetish. Which I don't.
3. Family friend puts his arm around me, and says, "You're a lot hotter when I'm drunk."

Ta-da!

Pictures to follow...and not of that, perv.

The wheels on the bus

The wheels on the bus
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

5????

5????
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Just when you thought it could get no worse...

GAH!!!

GAH!!!
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

This kitten is so freakishly cute, that I want to scream!

Language Arts. Or, the art of my foul language.

I've come to realize that I say the eff word a lot, and think it even more. Take this morning, for example. I'm walking along the sidewalk, and I see a man come out of a garage door opening on the side of a building. I keep walking. He sees me coming. He just watches me, while I continue on my path. Down the sidewalk. The sidewalk that runs parallel to the building. The building with that garage door. I'm walking in front of said garage door, when I look over to see a forklift coming right at me, full speed. The guy driving the forklift honks at me, after I'm out of the way. I gave the first guy a dirty look, but I don't think it had much affect on account of my sexy sunglasses. That's alright...what I was thinking...what I was really thinking behind that dirty look which was behind the sexy sunglasses was, "Thank you, Sir. Thank you for telling me there was a fucking tractor coming at me all ready to sever my shit off. Christ."

This is just one example of why I'm certain to see all of my wonderful, yet heathen friends in the afterlife.

She's Such a Betty.

H: John and I were having a discussion about the definition of a "Betty" yesterday.
Me: And what did you come up with?
H: Gwen Stefani and Missy Elliott would be Betties. Britney Spears? Not so much.
Me: So, what's the definition?
H: Y'know, a girl who's tough. Someone who's not afraid to take care of themselves.
Me: A girl who's not afraid to smoke a cigar?
H: Exactly.
Me: I wonder if I could be considered a Betty? At least an Up-and-coming Betty, maybe.
H: Definitely. You're the best kind of Betty. You're a Betty who cooks.

Punchline.

Punchline.
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

You see this? Yeah. This is QFC single-handedly justifying that dent in my bank account.

Just Cuz

City Reflection
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Here's a picture I took in Vancouver earlier in the year. I think it's a pretty neat shot, even though it wasn't taken with my spiffy new camera.

Mmmm. Paella!

Mmmm. Paella!
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Need I say more?

Data Bitch
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

This is The Data Bitch. I feel pretty confident in this assessment. I'm sure I first heard the phrase either from The Data Bitch himself, or from The Data Boss.

The things that I see

Data Beast
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Here is the first picture on my new camera! I'd like you all to meet The Data Beast. The Data Beast should never be confused with The Data Bitch.

Girls and Their Toys

I've recently discovered that I have a weakness for last minute, expensive purchases. There was the bike earlier in the year. Not a bad price for a nice bike, but still.

I'm going to Portland this weekend for my sister's birthday, and really didn't want to lug around my heavy Nikon with it's assortment of lenses. So, I did what any "I don't care to pay rent this month" type would do, and I bought a new digital camera today during my lunch break.

Yes, I bought it at Office Max, and yes, it really does rock the socks. 4.1 megapixels, baby! Sure, I had to ask what that meant, but I DID know that it was better than all of my friends' cameras. That's right. I'm better than all of you. Get over it.

Pictures to follow...

That's what I've been talking about!

Pinwheel, pinwheel, spinning around. Look at my Pinwheel and see what I've found.

Pinwheel, pinwheel, where have you been? Hello, how are you, and may I come in?

Pinwheel, pinwheel, spinning around. Look at my pinwheel and see what I found.

Pinwheel, pinwheel, breezy and bright. Spin me good morning, spin me good night.

No Points For You!

I went out last weekend to see "Hot For An Old Crusty Musician Type" and his band. At the end of the night, one of the guys I had danced with asked if I would be interested in going out sometime. He was nice, and could dance, so I agreed to exchange numbers. I got a call from him last night. At 10:30 PM. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Knowing how charming I can be when I'm half asleep, I sent him off to the land of voicemail, so he could talk to someone who was interested.

This morning someone told me that I should call him back at 6am. Imagine all the possibilities! "I'm sorry, but I don't think this is going to work on account of our conflicting schedules. That, and I don't have room for another dumbshit in my life right now. But hey, best of luck to you!"

Cooking Lessons Needed

Yesterday I was talking with one of my friends and she was telling me about her successful egg boiling experience. She started telling me how she followed the directions exactly, and I thought, "I didn't know that there were directions! You mean boiling an egg isn't just tribal knowledge????" So I went home after work and looked in my favorite cookbook, and sure enough...directions for boiling an egg. And do you know what else??? I've been doing it all wrong.

Where's that damn rock when I need it???

Y'know when you meet new friends, and you really enjoy hanging out with them? Y'know how you usually try to be nice, so they'll like you back, and want to continue hanging out with you?

If you read those last two sentences, you might be led to believe that I understand this process.

The other day I was hanging out with a newly acquired friend, and he was telling me a story about a recent grocery shopping trip. Apparently he was having a hard time finding the corn, and finally had to ask for help. When the clerk took him to the corn, he realized that the reason he couldn't find it was that he was looking for the color yellow. When he told me that last part, I reacted without thinking, "You're such a moron!" Luckily my new friend has a good sense of humor about the whole thing. Otherwise, I'm sure I could have found a way to roll my tongue up into my mouth, and pull my lower lip over my head.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

CANDY!!!!

GHAAAAAAA

Sorry, Kids. No more anonymous comments. I'm learning first hand about a new form of spam. Anonymous commenting. In the last few days I have received several anonymous comments which read something like this:

Reading your blog and I figured you'd be interested in advancing your life a bit, call us at 1-206-339-5106. No tests, books or exams, easiest way to get a Bachelors, Masters, MBA, Doctorate or Ph.D in almost any field.Totally confidential, open 24 hours a day.Hope to hear from you soon!

Awesome, no?

Product Placement

Y'know when you're at the grocery store, and there are always "impulse buy" items hanging on little racks along the aisles? The other day I saw toy handcuffs hanging by the condoms. Those crazy kids working at QFC sure do know how to have a good time!

Spreading The Word

I received this email today, and it's really a pretty fantastic idea. Since I have many readers who's email addresses I don't have, I thought I would post the information here.

ICE - In Case of Emergency

A campaign encouraging people to enter an emergency contact number in their mobile phone's memory under the heading ICE (In Case of Emergency), has rapidly spread throughout the world as a particular consequence of last week's terrorist attacks in London.

Originally established as a nation-wide campaign in the UK, ICE allows paramedics or police to be able to contact a designated relative / next-of-kin in an emergency situation.

The idea is the brainchild of East Anglian Ambulance Service paramedic Bob Brotchie and was launched in May this year. Bob, 41, who has been a paramedic for 13 years, said: "I was reflecting on some of the calls I've attended at the roadside where I had to look through the mobile phone contacts struggling for information on a shocked or injured person. Almost everyone carries a mobile phone now, and with ICE we'd know immediately who to contact and what number to ring. The person may even know of their medical history."

By adopting the ICE advice, your mobile will help the rescue services quickly contact a friend or relative - which could be vital in a life or death situation. It only takes a few seconds to do, and it could easily help save your life. Why not put ICE in your phone now? Simply select your person to contact in case of emergency, enter them under the word 'ICE' and the telephone number of the person you wish to be contacted.

For more than one contact name ICE1, ICE2, ICE3 etc.

Rockin' the Casbah

Traci!!!!
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

I haven't mentioned Traci in quite some time. Yes, she's still on my list of neat people. She just moved in to a new place right by mine...and she has a CAR. You know what that means, right? Grocery shopping, people!!! Traci and I went shopping together yesterday. We were both planning to get a lot of stuff, so we each had our own cart and we followed each other around the store - It was the Great Shopping Caravan!

The other day I needed Traci to move some pictures from her digital camera to a disk for me. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but she included a few extras. For your viewing pleasure....TRACI!!!

Making Dad Proud

My dad was in town this weekend, so we went downtown on Saturday night for some live music. Dad is pretty fun to go out with, on account of his tendency to buy rounds of tequila shots. Of course, once that kicks in, the dancing starts...and usually doesn't stop until the music ends. The reason for this particular outing was to see a blues guitarist named Nick Vigarino, who my dad has seen on several occasions. When we got up to leave, Nick thanked us for coming. He shook my dad's hand, looked right into his face, and said, "You're daughter's a total fox!"