Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Turkey Shmurkey.

I love stuffing. It's my favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner. I would even go so far as to say that I love it more than canned cranberries. (I like them from the can.) Right now, I'm sitting at my desk, eating a bowl full of stuffing. I thought it would make a nice lunch, and I was so right.

Survey time! What's your favorite Thanksgiving food item?

Friday, November 18, 2005

A New Level Of Awesome

Apparently farting in bed automatically grants you an honorary penis.

Who knew?

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Memories That Haunt Me, Part 2. (OR – Put down the frying pans and butter knives and BREATHE.)

I guess I need to clarify a few things regarding a previous post (part 1, duh.) Apparently there are those of you who now think that my entire childhood was a dreadful experience. Let me say now that this is not the case. I did have some good times, and I also had bad times. I certainly was not trying to insinuate that all of my negative experiences were a result of one person’s actions, and I definitely wasn't trying to encompass my entire early life in that one post; I don’t think anyone could do that in 5 small paragraphs. I was simply sharing a memory of one specific afternoon.

I like that my website creates an emotional response. I want people to feel something when they read what I have to say. I would prefer a happy or even sad response, but I can run with anger too.

Please know that I will never apologize for the content of my website. I put a lot of thought into my entries, and they’re all a part of who I am. I enjoy having this medium to put myself out there for everyone to see, but sometimes honesty can take us down unexpected paths. Part 1 took most of a week to get just right before publishing – I hope that no one thinks I take this task lightly.

With that, enjoy my website. Laugh. Cry. Gnash your teeth. But please don’t pass judgment.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

An Open Letter

Dear Peanut Gallery,

The drama you're creating is really adding to the traffic that my site receives! As much as I love the added readership, it’s getting a little out of hand. Let me outline a few points for you.

Most importantly, we’re not in high school anymore, m’kay?

Please don’t use my website as a vehicle for bringing general nastiness to light. Only I get to do that. I love comments, and I value every opinion, but being that I am the administrator of my website, I reserve the right to delete comments at will. I like having the comment option available for the fun and witty things, but I’m not interested in any cutting remarks, especially when they aren't about the specifics of the original post.

On that note, please limit your comments to the subject at hand! You're more than welcome to disagree with anything that I post on my website. You can even express your disagreement by way of commenting; Just refrain from being nasty, of course. It’s not the disagreement that bothers me. What bothers me is your tendency to bring other subjects and people into the conversation, which might not belong there.

I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate randomness. By all means, leave a comment that says “Applesauce” after this post. However, I have to politely ask you to knock off the passive-aggressive bullshit.

Since I’ve stopped allowing anonymous commenting, you obviously have your own blog. If you can’t follow these simple requests, maybe you should stick to posting in your own space.

Thank you!

Here We Go Again

Holiday baking orders are coming in at full speed! Usually I keep track of orders on a pad of legal paper, which has always made me just a little bit insane. So, to make things harder for myself, I decided that post-it notes were the way to go this time around. Monday I received about 5 Thanksgiving pie orders, a Christmas party order for 6 dozen cookies, and promises of 2 rather large Christmas basket orders. It's not even a full week before Thanksgiving yet, and I'm already trying to decide which days in December would be the most strategic for taking vacation from The Job That Pays The Bills, so that I have time for all of this baking! Yesterday, as I was trying to organize all of this on the piece of paper that resides IN MY HEAD, I thought the same thing that I think every year during the 3rd week of November. "What the hell have I gotten myself into???"

Post-it notes aren't cutting it anymore.

I made an Excel spreadsheet in an effort to obtain some sense of organization. I have everything broken down by order and grocery shopping requirements, listed in chronological order by date.

Okay. Hold on. Did you read that last part? I actually wrote out grocery lists for each order, and figured out the date that I need to go shopping for ingredients for each individual order. Then, I put all of this information on AN EXCEL SPREADSHEET.

Friday, November 11, 2005


Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Memories That Haunt Me, Part 1(?)

I'm coming to terms with some memories from my childhood. There are people who would say the best route to resolution is "forgive and forget", but for now I'm just working on admitting that I've been hurt. I may never come to forgive those who helped create my worst memories, but I'm okay with that.

I remember when I was 11, and I went to live with my aunt for what would come to be 4 years. My mother came to visit shortly after I had moved in, and I was so excited to see her. She arrived, and as an 11 year old who felt incredibly displaced, all I wanted to do was be near her. Even if I wasn't part of the conversation, just to be in the same room, sitting nearby, was a great comfort at the time.

Unfortunately this feeling was short-lived, on account of my cousin's need of a playmate. She must have been about 6 at the time, a great age difference to an 11 year old. Needless to say, the last thing I wanted to do was play "dress-up" or "Barbie" that afternoon. Said cousin was less than pleased with my lack of interest in playing that day, and in being true to form, went to her mother to have the situation straightened out. My aunt insisted that I play with my cousin. I had learned early-on in my transition, that any resistance to my aunt's wishes was reason for an "attitude adjustment" so I reluctantly went to the basement play-room with a very contented cousin.

I didn't see much of my mother that day.

I haven't thought of this day in quite some time, but the other morning I woke up and it was the first thing on my mind. I remembered it so clearly, and the familiar feelings of resignation flooded me. I laid in bed and cried that morning like I haven't in a very long time. It felt so good, but so very draining at the same time. At that moment, it was perfect.

I don't really know why I posted this. I guess it's been on my mind all week, and I needed to get it out. Maybe I just needed to put it out there to say, "I can be hurt and survive." I don't know what the reason, but it feels good.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005