Lesson learned.

You know the compressed air you can get for cleaning your keyboard? Never, under any circumstances, should you use said canned air to deal with static in your skirt.

Please disregard the previous statement if you want your upper thighs and crotch to be encased in ice, and therefore outlive the rest of your body.

Of course, if nothing else, it's highly entertaining to see your colleagues fall out of their chairs from laughing so hard.