Kept To Myself

You should stop wearing those pants. They're just awful.

Good Friends

Good Friends
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

My good friend Kim brought these to me at work yesterday!

Cricket Likes the Cheap Stuff

Cricket Likes the Cheap Stuff
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Devil Kitty!!!

Devil Kitty!!!
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.

For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Blogging Rampage!

I haven't posted in a while!!!! I'm posting now! A rampage of photos, comin' up!

Ode To Joy And The Yummy Coffee You Make For Me In The Mornings.

Still Life Without Tongues
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

You're so nice. I like you a lot. My friends like you too. That's neat because I never have to worry about defending us. Some of my friends, even though they like you, say that you should stop setting the bar so high with all the nice things you do, like bringing me coffee in the morning. I just tell them to shut-up.

I think it's nice that we're so comfortable together. Unfortunately I still have to draw the line with farting in front of you, even though you try to encourage me by saying that I'll be more comfortable if I just get it over with already.

I like that I can be goofy around you, and you think it's funny, and not stupid. I can say "Maaaarrryyyyyy", and you get it. We both like to play Scrabble! Remember a few weeks ago, when we were cracking jokes about Scrabble, and we figured out that we both have the scores memorized for each letter? It was amusing at the time, but please don't tell anyone, okay?

Anyway, I should get going. Y'know how your friends always comment that I don't actually work when I'm at the office? Yeah.

Zee Cake

Zee Cake
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Here we see a bittersweet chocolate cake with semisweet chocolate truffles and silk rose pedals. Coffee, anyone?

Snow Dancing

Snow Dancer
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Went snowshoeing across a frozen lake last weekend, and lived to tell the tale!

Now With Less Tongue!!!

Cheese
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Accountability and The Art of Preventative Maintenance

I remember being warned that my pants would someday shrink, but I didn't expect it to be isolated to the hips and thighs area.

I've always hovered around the 120-125lb range, but when I went to my yearly checkup two months ago, I weighed in at 135. I wasn't terribly concerned about it at the time, because I wasn't "enjoying" the "benefits" of weight gain yet. Yet. In just the last 2 week, some of my pants don't fit right anymore.

Okay, let's recap: 2 months ago I weight 135, and my pants still fit fine. Now they don't fit. Therefore...one can deduce that I weigh MORE than 135. Ugh. By Hollywood standards, I am officially a heifer, and should be taken out back to be put out of my misery.

Now, before you all roll your eyes and start a "Fatty VS Skinny 2006" riot, I know that I'm totally healthy. I recognize that I look great, but the tight clothes bit is really bothering me. I don't want to wake up in 10 years, with an "office ass", feeling like it's too late to do something about it. By then I will be considering letting someone send me to the glue factory. (Hmmm....glue. I bet if I went on a glue diet, I would lose weight!)

This is where the preventative maintenance and accountability part comes in. I'm asking my readers to hold me accountable to start MOOOVING (ha!). I don't have lofty goals yet. I just want to start doing some crunches and maybe lunges in the evening. So, what I ask of you, my loyal audience, is to send me a quick email daily, weekly, whatever, to check in and make sure that I'm moving on a regular basis. (and I don't mean chair shimmies - get off your ASS, Kim!)

My pants and I will greatly appreciate it.

Need. No, want. No....NEED.

Anyone who gets paid to window shop is alright in my book. This is one of my favorite websites. This is the new thing that I want from said website. Hey! YOU. It's almost Valentine's Day! I know I said the holiday wasn't a big deal, but I want this.

Deja Vu???

Disclaimer: No, I'm not trying to copy this post.

Saturday morning I'm dreaming that I'm brushing my teeth. I spit a huge bubbly wad of saliva all over my pillow.

Through New Eyes.

I finally broke down and figured out how to program my coffee brewer to run in the mornings. I've always avoided the option, because I'm a bit of a coffee purist - especially when it comes to freshly ground beans.

I've since learned that perspective is vastly different at 6 am. Besides, it's really neat to turn the alarm off and hear gurgling and hissing coming from the kitchen! Another benefit to coffee before work? I'm noticing things on my commute that I've never paid attention to before! There are some really neat stores that I have been passing for *3* years...I should really get around to checking them out sometime...

Speaking of Blowjobs....And Then Not...

I'm wearing a new shirt that has horizontal stripes. I look damn good in it. This is my way of telling the fashion world to "suck it".

In other news, I've been reminded of how amazing it can be to have someone make coffee for you in the morning and bring it to you in bed before work. Thank you, Wonderful Coffee Maker Person! (This is the part that isn't about blowjobs.)

bush_bj
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Email Of The Day: Water Intake

Is your pee clear yet?

Grasshoppa say 'Only when one can drink what come out, can one be confident about putting enough in'

Conversation Pieces Take a New Turn

http://www.showercurtainart.com/thumbpage.html

Great Expectations....Fulfilled!

I had a wonderful Christmas, despite being horribly ill all weekend. More to come (pictures included!) just as soon as I'm able to type a complete sentence without getting distracted by my cold medicine stupor.

A Thank You Letter. Of Sorts.

So, I was hiding in my bed this morning when you called. I was still in a sleep stupor, so I opted not to answer. I started to wonder why you might be calling, since you've never called in the morning, and I thought, "Hey, maybe she's calling to tell me that they closed the office building for some reason. That would be nice..." Then I thought, "Dammit Kim, quit making excuses and get your ass out of bed!" So, then I took a shower, and remembered it was Friday, so I didn't feel guilty about putting on my favorite ratty jeans for work...Then I remembered that I'm going over to Nick's for dinner tonight, so I packed my favorite comfy pants...then I was waiting for the bus, and I listened to the message that you left...and it was such a great way to start my morning! I didn't even get bent out of shape when the person sitting next to me was so close that we were touching, which usually really bugs the hell out of me! Then...then I defied your thoughts on what a good person I am! So, the seat on the other side of me, the one that was not occupied by The Person Who Was Sitting So Close That We Were Touching? You know the one. Well, that seat had a few red and green candy sprinkles on it. A guy boarded the bus and took that seat without looking first, and I didn't say anything to him about the sprinkles, because, well, if you're going to ride public transportation, and you don't look at the seat before you sit down, you deserve what's coming. Then he got up at his stop, and I giggled a little inside...he had sprinkles stuck to his pants...then I giggled a little more inside when I thought to myself, "Cupcake Butt!". So, you see, I'm not nearly so good a person as you would like to think.

In Retrospect...

Not such a great idea to paint while drinking, as the roller has a tendency to get out of control. I have purple outlets and light switches in my dining room now. Oh, and purple smudges on the ceiling.

Shiny

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Future in Speech Writing

A Baker's Work Is Never Done
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

I reckon that Plan A ain’t workin’ out so well, so let’s move to Plan B and get ‘er done. What we’re gonna do is, build us a cookie army, and beat the tarnation outta The Evil Doers. (i.e. “Baby Jesus Haters”).

Karma's Blessings

Got a PROMOTION! Got a PROMOTION! PROMOTION. PROMOTION.

Hee.

The Final Chapter - Brilliant

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

This was Brady's take on the situation. I love him and his mad photoshop skills!

Progression Of Boredom.

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Below you will see a series of pictures depicting the boredom that has overtaken my group at work. We came in this morning to find a butter knife covered in jelly, lying on the floor by the refrigerator. The rest of the images don't really need explanation.

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Shake Yer Money Maker!

I was listening to NPR last night, and they were covering a story about virtual reality games. They interviewed a guy who plays War Craft. Apparently you can sign into the game network, and your character wanders around the environment, interacting with other people who are playing on the network. One of the goals of the game is to collect gold and weapons, such as swords. The interviewee was saying that this particular aspect of the game has become a money-making scheme of it's own. Apparently if you obtain gold or weapons, you can sell them on Ebay for actual money. Trading virtual currency for dollars. Amazing.

Of course, it doesn't end on Ebay. From the NPR website article:

There are individuals and groups in Asia and Eastern Europe where people are paid a very low wage to play characters for long hours -- with the sole purpose of making virtual money that will later be converted into real money.

The farmer's character will try to make the most amount of money during his shift -- some are rumored to have quotas. In order to do this, the characters perform certain tasks that are guaranteed to make money -- killing monsters that drop large amounts of money, and going on quests that yield valuable in-game items like weapons and armor.

The farmers then sell their items through online sites.

Anyone else find this strange, and maybe even a little frightening???

Turkey Shmurkey.

I love stuffing. It's my favorite part of Thanksgiving dinner. I would even go so far as to say that I love it more than canned cranberries. (I like them from the can.) Right now, I'm sitting at my desk, eating a bowl full of stuffing. I thought it would make a nice lunch, and I was so right.

Survey time! What's your favorite Thanksgiving food item?

A New Level Of Awesome

Apparently farting in bed automatically grants you an honorary penis.

Who knew?

Memories That Haunt Me, Part 2. (OR – Put down the frying pans and butter knives and BREATHE.)

I guess I need to clarify a few things regarding a previous post (part 1, duh.) Apparently there are those of you who now think that my entire childhood was a dreadful experience. Let me say now that this is not the case. I did have some good times, and I also had bad times. I certainly was not trying to insinuate that all of my negative experiences were a result of one person’s actions, and I definitely wasn't trying to encompass my entire early life in that one post; I don’t think anyone could do that in 5 small paragraphs. I was simply sharing a memory of one specific afternoon.

I like that my website creates an emotional response. I want people to feel something when they read what I have to say. I would prefer a happy or even sad response, but I can run with anger too.

Please know that I will never apologize for the content of my website. I put a lot of thought into my entries, and they’re all a part of who I am. I enjoy having this medium to put myself out there for everyone to see, but sometimes honesty can take us down unexpected paths. Part 1 took most of a week to get just right before publishing – I hope that no one thinks I take this task lightly.

With that, enjoy my website. Laugh. Cry. Gnash your teeth. But please don’t pass judgment.

An Open Letter

Dear Peanut Gallery,

The drama you're creating is really adding to the traffic that my site receives! As much as I love the added readership, it’s getting a little out of hand. Let me outline a few points for you.

Most importantly, we’re not in high school anymore, m’kay?

Please don’t use my website as a vehicle for bringing general nastiness to light. Only I get to do that. I love comments, and I value every opinion, but being that I am the administrator of my website, I reserve the right to delete comments at will. I like having the comment option available for the fun and witty things, but I’m not interested in any cutting remarks, especially when they aren't about the specifics of the original post.

On that note, please limit your comments to the subject at hand! You're more than welcome to disagree with anything that I post on my website. You can even express your disagreement by way of commenting; Just refrain from being nasty, of course. It’s not the disagreement that bothers me. What bothers me is your tendency to bring other subjects and people into the conversation, which might not belong there.

I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate randomness. By all means, leave a comment that says “Applesauce” after this post. However, I have to politely ask you to knock off the passive-aggressive bullshit.

Since I’ve stopped allowing anonymous commenting, you obviously have your own blog. If you can’t follow these simple requests, maybe you should stick to posting in your own space.

Thank you!

Here We Go Again

Holiday baking orders are coming in at full speed! Usually I keep track of orders on a pad of legal paper, which has always made me just a little bit insane. So, to make things harder for myself, I decided that post-it notes were the way to go this time around. Monday I received about 5 Thanksgiving pie orders, a Christmas party order for 6 dozen cookies, and promises of 2 rather large Christmas basket orders. It's not even a full week before Thanksgiving yet, and I'm already trying to decide which days in December would be the most strategic for taking vacation from The Job That Pays The Bills, so that I have time for all of this baking! Yesterday, as I was trying to organize all of this on the piece of paper that resides IN MY HEAD, I thought the same thing that I think every year during the 3rd week of November. "What the hell have I gotten myself into???"

Post-it notes aren't cutting it anymore.

I made an Excel spreadsheet in an effort to obtain some sense of organization. I have everything broken down by order and grocery shopping requirements, listed in chronological order by date.

Okay. Hold on. Did you read that last part? I actually wrote out grocery lists for each order, and figured out the date that I need to go shopping for ingredients for each individual order. Then, I put all of this information on AN EXCEL SPREADSHEET.

Chillin'

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

My %*#!$&@ Computer Won't Work, But My Eyebrows Look Fantastic!

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Memories That Haunt Me, Part 1(?)

I'm coming to terms with some memories from my childhood. There are people who would say the best route to resolution is "forgive and forget", but for now I'm just working on admitting that I've been hurt. I may never come to forgive those who helped create my worst memories, but I'm okay with that.

I remember when I was 11, and I went to live with my aunt for what would come to be 4 years. My mother came to visit shortly after I had moved in, and I was so excited to see her. She arrived, and as an 11 year old who felt incredibly displaced, all I wanted to do was be near her. Even if I wasn't part of the conversation, just to be in the same room, sitting nearby, was a great comfort at the time.

Unfortunately this feeling was short-lived, on account of my cousin's need of a playmate. She must have been about 6 at the time, a great age difference to an 11 year old. Needless to say, the last thing I wanted to do was play "dress-up" or "Barbie" that afternoon. Said cousin was less than pleased with my lack of interest in playing that day, and in being true to form, went to her mother to have the situation straightened out. My aunt insisted that I play with my cousin. I had learned early-on in my transition, that any resistance to my aunt's wishes was reason for an "attitude adjustment" so I reluctantly went to the basement play-room with a very contented cousin.

I didn't see much of my mother that day.

I haven't thought of this day in quite some time, but the other morning I woke up and it was the first thing on my mind. I remembered it so clearly, and the familiar feelings of resignation flooded me. I laid in bed and cried that morning like I haven't in a very long time. It felt so good, but so very draining at the same time. At that moment, it was perfect.

I don't really know why I posted this. I guess it's been on my mind all week, and I needed to get it out. Maybe I just needed to put it out there to say, "I can be hurt and survive." I don't know what the reason, but it feels good.

Happy Halloween!

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

It's Stuff! On Cats!

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Saturday Afternoon

Saturday Afternoon
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

The Last Hurrah
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

This was the final picture taken last night. I feel like ass today.

Lookin' Up, Kim Style

Sanity
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

I'm feeling a bit better. This changes from day-to-day, but for now, I'm feeling pretty good. Last night when I arrived home, I was greeted by a lovely bouquet of flowers, complete with a Halloween card. Yes, I said a Halloween card. It made me smile. The best part was that inside said Halloween card, in the midst of many nice things, it said "Happy Hump Day". I love that card.

So that was nice.

I decided to make myself a nice dinner. My usual staple of "easy meal" took a new fabulous turn when I made a quesadilla with cheddar, pepper jack, smoked cheddar, feta, fresh oregano and chopped tomatoes, all grilled up in a frying pan. I decided to cook it slow, so that all of the flavors would have time to meld, and I could relax a bit before devouring my meal.

Just as I turned the burner on, Heifer started to eat my flowers. Well, not the flowers, but the green stuff. He loves the greenery in a bouquet. So, I'm trying to wrestle with him, when I notice Cricket scooting across the tile floor on her butt. She does this sometimes, and usually I find it amusing, but about the time she hit the carpet, I realized, there are poop streaks all over my hallway. Leave Heifer to continue eating my flowers. Pick up Cricket in football grip, so as not to get poo on my clothes, and head to the bathroom. Sit down on the toilet and investigate. Crickets ass and surrounding fur are covered in crap. HOW DID SHE DO THIS???? I went to work...First with toilet paper, then upgraded to an old rag with warm water. I must say, she did very well, considering I was pulling at the hair around her asshole. Poor thing.

Cricket's clean, I'm clean, Heifer's demolished most of my greenery. Quesadilla is ready to flip. Perfect timing. I can do this! It's the Poop Ballet!

Flip quesadilla, decide I really want a glass of wine, knowing that I only have a few bottles, which I've been saving for a special occasion. Decide to celebrate my sanity with the most expensive bottle that I own.

So very very worth it.

EFF You, Tom Cruise, And I Hope That's Exactly What Katie Holmes Says When You Try To Keep Her From Medicating Her Post-Partum Depression.

Alright. We're off to a good start!

You might not hear from me for awhile. Well, unless something really funny happens, like someone falling on their face while trying to board the bus....That's just funny, People.

Those of you who know me even a little bit, know that I blush easily. It was always really fun when I was 15 and my 3 older sisters would take turns randomly saying "SEX!" to see just how red I would turn. Well, luckily I've gotten over that, because I have some pretty socially ungraceful friends. Whenever I blush, everyone gets a big kick out of it. "Hey everybody, look how red Kim just turned!" "Oh my god, even her arms are red! Look!" Nice. Well, the blushing thing isn't fun anymore. Now it's turned into full-blown anxiety, and I don't have any way of explaining why the hell I feel the way that I do on a daily basis.

On my last post I told about being asked to run a meeting. That was on Monday of this week. I had a little chat with my boss yesterday about that blog post. She's assured me that I would never be forced to do something that makes me uncomfortable. She said that I'm great at my job, and that I continually impress her with my ability to take on new projects and even create them on my own. I know all of this, but I still can't shake that feeling. Let me say that I love my job. I do. I enjoy what I do and I value those that I work with. I truly have it made in the job department. In spite of all this, I couldn't go to work this morning. I couldn't deal with this horrible fear that something might happen that would make me uncomfortable.

Since Monday I have spent every afternoon trying to keep myself sane between bouts of nausea. See, I know, logically, that the meeting conversation was just an offer made in case I might be interested in running a meeting but hadn't spoken up. No biggie. However, in my crazy head, it's become a looming threat. "What if someone of higher importance wants me to run a meeting one day? Will they think less of me if I say no? Will they understand that I just can't do that sort of thing? When are people going to start noticing that I'm not actually good at my job??? Am I just going to fall through the cracks and be one of those useless employees who manages to stick around through the years? Do they already realize that I'm not good at my job, and I just haven't made that revelation yet???"

Welcome to my world.

Everytime that someone stops by to visit the person sitting in the cube next to me, I listen to their hushed conversations and become engulfed in an unwarranted paranoia that they might be talking about me. Logically? Well, I know that I'm really not that important, and even if they are talking about me, who really cares. But the reality is that I'm convinced that they are, and regardless of what they're saying according to my created scenario, it makes me feel horrible.

Now, some of you might be thinking, "Gee, Kim, I know you like your job and all, but is it really worth all this trauma?" You're absolutely right, and if it were just about work, I would take some serious action. Enter Exibit "Mind Fuck":

1. I've stopped letting my cats outside because I'm absolutely convinced that one of them will get hit by a car. Now that they are inside all day, I sit at work and worry that something will happen. "What if my little Hiefer jumps up on the counter, and when he jumps back down, a knife falls on him???" This isn't just a passing thought. I dwell on this all day.

2. I started having night terrors about 2 months ago. I wake up absolutely terrified for no reason. I feel as though someone has been holding me down, and I am so scared, that I can't even scream. This has led to a fear of someone entering my apartment. When I get home from work in the evening, I engage all 3 locks on my door. Sometimes I sleep on my couch so that I will wake up more quickly if someone tries to get in at night.

I had an appointment for an annual girly exam today. I love those. I especially like it when they rub my cervix with that bristle brush. Good times. So, the nurse came in to take my blood pressure. Everything's fine. We chatted a bit about why I was there. No big deal. The first mistake was her leaving me there for nearly 30 minutes waiting for my doctor. In being true to form, my mind started to wander to horrible things. "What if she finds something wrong???" I finally got control of that, and thought, "Y'know, maybe I should talk to her about all of these things that have been bothering me so much. I might have an anxiety disorder. Maybe some medication would help keep me balanced." Seemed like a good idea to me. But, the story doesn't end there, of course...what fun would that be?? "What if she wants me to start seeing a counselor? What if I need something more immediate than that??? What if she prescribes drugs, and they make me feel worse? What if I find something that works, but I have to take 5 other drugs just to deal with side-effects???"

Isn't this game fun?

My doctor, who I absolutely trust and adore, walked in the room, and gave her usual cheery hello, to which I respond with a fit of crying. I finally calmed myself down, and started to tell her what had been plaguing me for the past 2 months. Apparently this crying business actually works, as my doctor has diagnosed me with "Generalized Anxiety Disorder". Do you know what this means? It means that I'm scared shitless of everything that could happen in the confines of my head.

I'm taking a very low dose of anti-anxiety medication. With the small amount that I'm taking, we should be able to catch any reverse or side-effects before they get out of hand. Yes, I'm a little scared, but I have to believe it will be worth it, because I'm so tired of feeling this way. I don't know if any of you have dealt with depression or anxiety, but it's absolutely exhausting.

I hate that I have fears just like everyone else, but rather than letting them pass I dwell on them all day. I hate that I love my job but I'm afraid to go there. I hate that I love my apartment, and until 2 months ago I wanted to spend every moment there, but now I'm so fearful and uncomfortable when I'm there.

I have to believe that this will help.

A Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On

During a meeting I had with my supervisor awhile back, I expressed an interest in becoming more comfortable with public speaking. Since that time, I have had a small moment of standing in front of a limited group. Yes, I was bright red and nervous the entire time, but I did it. Looking back, it wasn't that big of a deal, considering the subject matter and the members of the small group.

Recently I was asked if I would be interested in running a conference call meeting. I just started laughing and told her absolutely not, under any circumstances, will I ever be interested in running a meeting. Ever. Said person reminded me that I wanted public speaking opportunities, to which I responded, "Yeah, well I just changed my mind on that."

See, standing in front of a small group of people that I know very well is pretty intimidating for me. Running a meeting? Paralyzing. I don't mean to say that it makes me nervous, I mean to express that the mere thought of doing such a thing scares the living hell out of me.

Example A:

Today I was sitting at my desk, working as usual when my mind started to wander. I had created a scenario where the Big Boss Man asked me to present something during a meeting. Nothing big, just a contribution that I would be able to make to a Large. Group. Of. Important. People. By the time I came back from this little day dream, I was just about beside myself, tearing up, bright red, and even shaking a little.

Don't ask me for another example. I'm all worked up just thinking about Example A!

Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

These shoes are pure torture, but so very very hot.

Left For Dead...

So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention,
And you know how much I need you,
But you never even see me.

~Coldplay

Carlos
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

I've decided that naming my own photos is boring. So, from now on, when I post a picture on my blog, let's everyone leave a comment with a name suggestion. Sounds fun, right?

Ready? Okay!

Nothing Good To Say

I remember a day not so long ago when commuting by bus meant a 20 minute ride to work. This morning it took 45 minutes. 45 minutes!!! My commute has actually been a bit worse every single day for the last month. I left my house half an hour early, and still showed up to work 15 minutes late. This is normal traffic, people! There aren't any accidents or stalled vehicles. This is simply me trying to get over a damn bridge along with everyone who can't figure out that new-fangled merging process, or the meaning behind the term "bus only lane".

I don't have a car, which is probably a good thing considering how annoyed I get on the road when I'm not even driving. So, my options are limited to slowly moving toward being an hour late for work every morning, or catching a bus an hour early just to get to work on time. This is merely guess-work. For all I know, I'll still be late even if I catch an earlier bus.

I'll keep you posted.

Worse Than Britney

President Bush says he takes responsibility for the federal government's failures in responding to Hurricane Katrina. - CNN

I'm not pregnant! Oh, wait, yes I am!

Fall in Seattle

Fall in Seattle
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

New Favorite Website - Nicole in London

Thank you to Nicole in London for providing a link to the Katrina timeline. Very interesting.

Pick Your Battles

I donated to the Red Cross on Monday. I was checking out at Safeway and the clerk asked if I wanted to donate, so I did. I didn't ask her about the different causes that Safeway supports, or what the company's political stance was. I didn't ask because it doesn't matter. I wasn't donating money to Safeway; I was donating money to help the people who need assistance as a result of a natural disaster.

I understand having political/moral convictions, but get over it. I'm tired of seeing people choose their donation service based on the other things that said service accepts donations for. I've even seen someone making another feel bad because they made a donation without knowing the entire background of all of the causes that a donation service supports. "Sure, they're a legit operation, but they take money for those crazies at PBS. Did you know that Big Bird is the DEVIL? DID YOU???" Starbucks is taking donations. You can walk right up to the counter, and make a donation. They have a special SKU in the register dedicated to taking Red Cross donations. Oh, but did you know they support the GAY AGENDA??? That's right. They're marketing for those crazy gays. Before you know it, Starbucks might start a HOMOSEXUAL PROSTITUTION RING.

On second thought, better not donate via Starbucks. Who knows what else you might be supporting.

I have to say I'm really bothered by people who turn everything into a political argument. Yeah, a lot of people really fell short when the hurricane hit. Unfortunately there has been much unneeded suffering as a result. Well, I'd say it's about time to stop with the finger pointing and just take care of the issue at hand. There are lots of people out there who don't have time to sit around while we sort out this business of who is at fault.

I think Mighty Girl puts it best:

Thank you to all of the countries who have offered that help, especially those of you who have put aside political differences to do so. Thank you Canada, Cuba, Venezuela, Saudi Arabia, Dominica, Russia, France, Japan, China, El Salvador, Israel, Paraguay, the U.K., the United Arab Emirates, the Netherlands, Honduras, Germany, Venezuela, Jamaica, Australia, Switzerland, Greece, Hungary, Columbia, The Dominican Republic, Mexico, South Korea, New Zealand, Guatemala, Belgium, Singapore, Sri Lanka, Italy, Guyana, Indonesia, Austria, Lithuania, Spain, Norway, and the Bahamas. We're humbled by your compassion.

Downtown Seattle. No, Really
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Too Much!

http://kittenwar.com/
http://mycathatesyou.com/
http://catsinsinks.com/

Hard at work...

Hard at work...
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Finally.

The Stranger is a local independent paper in Seattle. I love their liberal outlook on political subjects. The joys of being independent - you can say whatever the hell you want. Part of an article that came out yesterday:

George Bush has one more day, if that, before his administration’s response to Hurricane Katrina becomes a huge political disaster...Bush will visit New Orleans tomorrow, and if the scenes of anarchy in the city continue up to and through his visit, he is toast. He has one more day.

I don't know about all of you, but I'll be anxiously awaiting the reports of how that little visit went today. Anyone taking bets on whether or not Bush will be wearing a vest???

In other frightening news from The Stranger:

The week kicks off with news of the most fertile high school in America, straight outta Canton, Ohio. Today the Canton Repository reported the startling findings regarding the city's Timken High School, where of the 490 female students, 65 are with child. Further fright is supplied by the Canton Health Department, whose statistics reveal that of the 586 babies born this year at Canton hospitals, 104 were produced by girls between the ages of 11 and 19. "School officials are not sure they know what caused so many pregnancies," reports the Repository.

I honestly don't know which is worse, the situation, or the response by the school officials!

What Have We Become?

CNN Breaking News:

New Orleans hospital halts patient evacuations after coming under sniper fire, a doctor who witnessed the incident says.

So, I know it's been awhile...

I realized today, as I was posting yet another photo on my blog, that this has become a bit of a photo blog. Not intentional, I just haven't had much to say lately. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just means that my life hasn't been very interesting lately. Oh, I've been entertaining, yes...I've even resorted to sticking my tongue out in my sleep, and last night I made myself a little bit ill with Oreo cookies, but that's about as exciting as it gets for me these days.

I haven't had any complaints sofar, so I assume that everyone enjoys the photos...feel free to let me know if you miss the text. I may or may not pay attention.

Circus From Hell
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Corporate Pizza

Corporate Pizza
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Putting cheese pizza under a stack of 12 other pizzas isn't a great idea.

Dream Big!

Saturday night I dreamt about showing someone how far I could stick my tongue out. I woke up licking my chin. So glad no one saw that.

Play Time
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Mysterious Trees
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

The Morning After
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Digital camera? Check. Crazy party? Check. Mirror first thing the next morning? Check.

HA!!!
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Well, there was a band, and beer...and by the time I took this picture, it was dark outside. What can I say?

Birthday Class
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Here's a picture of Jenny. There's no denying this girl knows how to party in style.

Would ya cut the cake already???

I went to Portland last weekend for two of my sisters' birthday. One turned 29, the other 30. When all was said and done, everyone had a fabulous time. There was a band and beer. Lots of beer. Really, there wasn't an excuse to be found for not having fun. Among the highlights of the evening:

1. Overhearing one of my sisters, "When he drinks, he gets aggressive...sexually."
2. Dad telling everyone that I have a foot fetish. Which I don't.
3. Family friend puts his arm around me, and says, "You're a lot hotter when I'm drunk."

Ta-da!

Pictures to follow...and not of that, perv.

The wheels on the bus

The wheels on the bus
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

5????

5????
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Just when you thought it could get no worse...

GAH!!!

GAH!!!
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

This kitten is so freakishly cute, that I want to scream!

Language Arts. Or, the art of my foul language.

I've come to realize that I say the eff word a lot, and think it even more. Take this morning, for example. I'm walking along the sidewalk, and I see a man come out of a garage door opening on the side of a building. I keep walking. He sees me coming. He just watches me, while I continue on my path. Down the sidewalk. The sidewalk that runs parallel to the building. The building with that garage door. I'm walking in front of said garage door, when I look over to see a forklift coming right at me, full speed. The guy driving the forklift honks at me, after I'm out of the way. I gave the first guy a dirty look, but I don't think it had much affect on account of my sexy sunglasses. That's alright...what I was thinking...what I was really thinking behind that dirty look which was behind the sexy sunglasses was, "Thank you, Sir. Thank you for telling me there was a fucking tractor coming at me all ready to sever my shit off. Christ."

This is just one example of why I'm certain to see all of my wonderful, yet heathen friends in the afterlife.

She's Such a Betty.

H: John and I were having a discussion about the definition of a "Betty" yesterday.
Me: And what did you come up with?
H: Gwen Stefani and Missy Elliott would be Betties. Britney Spears? Not so much.
Me: So, what's the definition?
H: Y'know, a girl who's tough. Someone who's not afraid to take care of themselves.
Me: A girl who's not afraid to smoke a cigar?
H: Exactly.
Me: I wonder if I could be considered a Betty? At least an Up-and-coming Betty, maybe.
H: Definitely. You're the best kind of Betty. You're a Betty who cooks.

Punchline.

Punchline.
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

You see this? Yeah. This is QFC single-handedly justifying that dent in my bank account.

Just Cuz

City Reflection
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Here's a picture I took in Vancouver earlier in the year. I think it's a pretty neat shot, even though it wasn't taken with my spiffy new camera.

Mmmm. Paella!

Mmmm. Paella!
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Need I say more?

Data Bitch
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

This is The Data Bitch. I feel pretty confident in this assessment. I'm sure I first heard the phrase either from The Data Bitch himself, or from The Data Boss.

The things that I see

Data Beast
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Here is the first picture on my new camera! I'd like you all to meet The Data Beast. The Data Beast should never be confused with The Data Bitch.

Girls and Their Toys

I've recently discovered that I have a weakness for last minute, expensive purchases. There was the bike earlier in the year. Not a bad price for a nice bike, but still.

I'm going to Portland this weekend for my sister's birthday, and really didn't want to lug around my heavy Nikon with it's assortment of lenses. So, I did what any "I don't care to pay rent this month" type would do, and I bought a new digital camera today during my lunch break.

Yes, I bought it at Office Max, and yes, it really does rock the socks. 4.1 megapixels, baby! Sure, I had to ask what that meant, but I DID know that it was better than all of my friends' cameras. That's right. I'm better than all of you. Get over it.

Pictures to follow...

That's what I've been talking about!

Pinwheel, pinwheel, spinning around. Look at my Pinwheel and see what I've found.

Pinwheel, pinwheel, where have you been? Hello, how are you, and may I come in?

Pinwheel, pinwheel, spinning around. Look at my pinwheel and see what I found.

Pinwheel, pinwheel, breezy and bright. Spin me good morning, spin me good night.

No Points For You!

I went out last weekend to see "Hot For An Old Crusty Musician Type" and his band. At the end of the night, one of the guys I had danced with asked if I would be interested in going out sometime. He was nice, and could dance, so I agreed to exchange numbers. I got a call from him last night. At 10:30 PM. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Knowing how charming I can be when I'm half asleep, I sent him off to the land of voicemail, so he could talk to someone who was interested.

This morning someone told me that I should call him back at 6am. Imagine all the possibilities! "I'm sorry, but I don't think this is going to work on account of our conflicting schedules. That, and I don't have room for another dumbshit in my life right now. But hey, best of luck to you!"

Cooking Lessons Needed

Yesterday I was talking with one of my friends and she was telling me about her successful egg boiling experience. She started telling me how she followed the directions exactly, and I thought, "I didn't know that there were directions! You mean boiling an egg isn't just tribal knowledge????" So I went home after work and looked in my favorite cookbook, and sure enough...directions for boiling an egg. And do you know what else??? I've been doing it all wrong.

Where's that damn rock when I need it???

Y'know when you meet new friends, and you really enjoy hanging out with them? Y'know how you usually try to be nice, so they'll like you back, and want to continue hanging out with you?

If you read those last two sentences, you might be led to believe that I understand this process.

The other day I was hanging out with a newly acquired friend, and he was telling me a story about a recent grocery shopping trip. Apparently he was having a hard time finding the corn, and finally had to ask for help. When the clerk took him to the corn, he realized that the reason he couldn't find it was that he was looking for the color yellow. When he told me that last part, I reacted without thinking, "You're such a moron!" Luckily my new friend has a good sense of humor about the whole thing. Otherwise, I'm sure I could have found a way to roll my tongue up into my mouth, and pull my lower lip over my head.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

CANDY!!!!

GHAAAAAAA

Sorry, Kids. No more anonymous comments. I'm learning first hand about a new form of spam. Anonymous commenting. In the last few days I have received several anonymous comments which read something like this:

Reading your blog and I figured you'd be interested in advancing your life a bit, call us at 1-206-339-5106. No tests, books or exams, easiest way to get a Bachelors, Masters, MBA, Doctorate or Ph.D in almost any field.Totally confidential, open 24 hours a day.Hope to hear from you soon!

Awesome, no?

Product Placement

Y'know when you're at the grocery store, and there are always "impulse buy" items hanging on little racks along the aisles? The other day I saw toy handcuffs hanging by the condoms. Those crazy kids working at QFC sure do know how to have a good time!

Spreading The Word

I received this email today, and it's really a pretty fantastic idea. Since I have many readers who's email addresses I don't have, I thought I would post the information here.

ICE - In Case of Emergency

A campaign encouraging people to enter an emergency contact number in their mobile phone's memory under the heading ICE (In Case of Emergency), has rapidly spread throughout the world as a particular consequence of last week's terrorist attacks in London.

Originally established as a nation-wide campaign in the UK, ICE allows paramedics or police to be able to contact a designated relative / next-of-kin in an emergency situation.

The idea is the brainchild of East Anglian Ambulance Service paramedic Bob Brotchie and was launched in May this year. Bob, 41, who has been a paramedic for 13 years, said: "I was reflecting on some of the calls I've attended at the roadside where I had to look through the mobile phone contacts struggling for information on a shocked or injured person. Almost everyone carries a mobile phone now, and with ICE we'd know immediately who to contact and what number to ring. The person may even know of their medical history."

By adopting the ICE advice, your mobile will help the rescue services quickly contact a friend or relative - which could be vital in a life or death situation. It only takes a few seconds to do, and it could easily help save your life. Why not put ICE in your phone now? Simply select your person to contact in case of emergency, enter them under the word 'ICE' and the telephone number of the person you wish to be contacted.

For more than one contact name ICE1, ICE2, ICE3 etc.

Rockin' the Casbah

Traci!!!!
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

I haven't mentioned Traci in quite some time. Yes, she's still on my list of neat people. She just moved in to a new place right by mine...and she has a CAR. You know what that means, right? Grocery shopping, people!!! Traci and I went shopping together yesterday. We were both planning to get a lot of stuff, so we each had our own cart and we followed each other around the store - It was the Great Shopping Caravan!

The other day I needed Traci to move some pictures from her digital camera to a disk for me. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but she included a few extras. For your viewing pleasure....TRACI!!!

Making Dad Proud

My dad was in town this weekend, so we went downtown on Saturday night for some live music. Dad is pretty fun to go out with, on account of his tendency to buy rounds of tequila shots. Of course, once that kicks in, the dancing starts...and usually doesn't stop until the music ends. The reason for this particular outing was to see a blues guitarist named Nick Vigarino, who my dad has seen on several occasions. When we got up to leave, Nick thanked us for coming. He shook my dad's hand, looked right into his face, and said, "You're daughter's a total fox!"

Woop it up!

Happy Birthday to my little brother Nathan today! He's the grand age of 8 already! I was thinking there might be a way to record myself singing happy birthday, so I could set it up as background music when you open my page...but trust me, it's much better this way.

View from my livingroom

View from my livingroom
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

Here's another view from my livingroom - this time complete with water! It's nice in the mornings when the fog hasn't burned off, watching the ferry boats floating around.

View through a screen

View through a screen
Originally uploaded by pastry_child.

My new apartment rocks socks, people! Here is a view from my livingroom. Unfortunately there's a bit of a window screen issue, but you get the idea.

It's all inside

Most of the people I work with are surprised when they find out how young I am. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that view, so I'm really putting an effort into refraining from doing the following:

-Run down the aisle squealing "It's my birthday on Sunday! It's my birthday on Sunday!"
-Pirouette in front of random colleague's cubicle.
-Pirouette again.
-Resume running and squealing.

A new chapter

My cell phone was stolen on Friday. Kindof. I lost it somewhere, and when I called my carrier, they found that it had been used to send text messages that afternoon. So, I have a new one. It's a lot cuter and smaller than the old one, probably on account of the fact that the old one was free when I opened an account. Things have changed in the last 3 years!

I was definitely due for an upgrade, I just wasn't counting on being forced into the change on the same weekend that I was scheduled to move. Not only was it an additional financial burden, but I was in the midst of arranging moving parties, and I didn't have a phone. The girl from TMobile was absolutely fantastic, and she offered to ship my new phone via Air Express free of charge, but I still wouldn't have a phone until Monday or even Tuesday. Luckily my good friend Don came to the rescue, letting me borrow his extra business phone, so all was well again. I still had to call around to my landlord, moving friends, moving company, etc. to give the temporary phone number, but I was relieved that I was able to reach out to people.

So, I have a new phone. And a new apartment. I love my apartment, and I'm slowly getting used to my phone.

Oh! There you are!

I'm back! Hopefully this will help resolve some of the drama in my life. Welcome to my new home! As you may have noticed, comments are back, baby! Now Sean can resume enjoying my mother's comments, and the 'Anonymous' friend that I invited over can resume yelling at me when I don't post fast enough.

Please excuse our mess

'Musings of a pastry case' will be temporarily unavailable on account of recent nastiness and threats. Please tune in next week or the week after, depending on when the dust settles.

God Bless Us, Everyone!

Thank you for the nice words.

I've received several emails since my last post, some from friends, some from people I don't even know. I think its fabulous that in the middle of all the hate and ugliness, there are still people with nice things to say, who will go out of their way to say them.

Side note - 'Anonymous' who ruined everyone's fun is not the same as "Post Post Post!!!" 'Anonymous'. This entry is dedicated to the latter. More than one word, even!

All good things must come to an end

Unfortunately I have been forced to remove the comments option from my blog, kids. It appears that my anonymous "friend" isn't such a great friend after all.

Hey, Anonymous...yeah, You. In case you weren't aware, this is MY turf, and I am god. Next time you're going to post a comment somewhere, try to make it less obvious that you don't care to understand what you're talking about. Oh, and if you're going to make especially mean statements, be sure to have the balls to give your identity.

To everyone else - if you really can't cope with the lack of comment opportunities, or you just want to say "Hey, I appreciate the things you have to say", or "I really dig your brother's story - fab, baby, just fab!", feel free to email me - a link to my email address is located in my profile.

Worth Writing Home About

I recently received a package in the mail that made my week sunny and nice. My little brother and sister sent me some artwork they had created, and my brother sent a story he had written.

For everyone's reading pleasure, my almost 8-year-0ld brother's story! (If you're good, I might let you see the artwork at a later date...)

Brass was a beetle who had black wings and was two stories high. One day he was looking for roses to eat. He was looking deep into the forest. Suddenly, he came upon an old old city. There was moss covering every building and there were no people. Suddenly, Brass found what he was looking for, sweet smelling red roses. Then he found a deep twisty hole under the rose bush. So he ate a rose. Then a ghost came out of the hole! Then Brass spit the petals out! Then he ran into one of the buildings! So the ghost raced after him! Then the ghost was right beside him. The ghost said, "Boo!" Then Brass smashed into a wall and it broke to bits. Then brass said, "Ouch!" So the ghost said, "Boo!" Brass turned around, went through the doorway, ran through the forest and all the way home. He never ever went back again. He lived happily ever after.

The end.

Worst weekend EVER.

I've had a horrible 3 days. The finer points:

1. Apparently my privacy and comfort levels don't mean shit to some people.
2. Apparently if you intentionally make decisions that will make my life difficult, it just means that we have different priorities, and I need to learn to deal.
3. Apparently storing your stuff somewhere means that you "live" there, and anyone who thinks differently best recognize.
4. Apparently Skagit County jail sucks. Bad. ("Apparently" is the part which signifies that I had nothing to do with it, Mom.)

On a positive note...Woodinville is a pretty short drive from Seattle, and the wineries aren't so bad. Washington state has a standard which requires that reserve wines only include the top 10% of the fruit. Grand reserves are only 1%. Washington is the only state that has any such standards, and if word gets out that you aren't following along, it makes people wanna bust a cap...That, or they just make it pretty difficult for you to acquire things like bottles and corks.